The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

I'm hoping the sun will come out very soon. Well, if not the sun, maybe the black cloud of sickness that's been hanging over our heads the last little while, maybe it will blow away for good. I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed right now, I haven't had the time or the energy to do any posting or to even check out others' blogs.

We're slowly seeing some relief. M. is feeling better. Though he did have another episode of double vision on Saturday. It was while he was coaching at GirlChild's swim meet. His head was really pounding and his sinus infection was really acting up. But he just called a few minutes ago, he had a doctor's appointment and his eyes have checked out fine. So his doctor believes the vision problems were due to the sinus infection. But, guess what, just so we don't let things go too easy for M., he broke his baby toe this morning. He was running around and trying to get to the ringing phone, when BAM! He hit his toe against a chair really hard. Ouch!

BoyChild appeared to be feeling much better last night. But he did have a rash on his back yesterday afternoon. I thought it was probably an allergic reaction to a new laundry detergent I had used. So we changed his clothes, gave him some Benadryl, put him in the bath and he seemed to feel better. Well, he woke up this morning and the rash on his back was gone but now it was on his face. M. had to take more time off from work today(at last count, he missed about four days of work last week) because he was sick with his sinus infection. And he had hoped to get to the office yesterday, but we wanted BoyChild to have one more day at home to make sure he was feeling better and not have a relapse, so being the super Dad he is, he stayed home with BoyChild.

I had thought my important meeting was today, turns out it is tomorrow. Arrrgh! So I rushed through the morning today, got some crucial work done and then came home so M. could get to the office.

I took BoyChild to the pediatrician. We thought he might have chicken pox. We waited for over an hour and it turns out he does not have chicken pox but BoyChild has a viral infection(maybe strep throat) I asked his pediatrician whether we should cancel our travel plans. She said "no don't cancel, he's probably going to be better by Thursday/Friday " Sigh, I kind of wish she had said we should cancel. I'm not sure if I feel good about travelling with BoyChild, but as the doctor said, he should be feeling better by Thursday.

And, the hospital called just a little while ago, GirlChild's CT Scan is scheduled next Tuesday afternoon. She's still having headaches but her pediatrician spoke to me today about the scan and said it was just a precautionary measure, she really didn't think anything was seriously wrong with GirlChild.

So, it looks like we'll be heading down to North Carolina early Thursday morning. I'm hoping that BoyChild will be better by then, fingers crossed. And I'm going to keep thinking good thoughts that everyone else will also be better soon. I'm hoping the time away will be nice and we can have fun at the wedding and have a great visit with all our Southern relatives. Fingers crossed.

All Will Be Good

I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Last weekend, M. was out of commission and he couldn't do anything because he hurt his foot while jogging. I ran around all weekend taking BoyChild to a birthday party and hosted playdates for BoyChild, cleaned the house, washed windows and cleaned up the yard, took GirlChild to her optometrist appointment. I couldn't go and work out all weekend because of the running around and today I missed my workout because M. is still sick and BoyChild was throwing up last night and is home sick today. I do find working out helps relieve stress,but I couldn't go in case M. needed me.

M. has been feeling awful all week, he went to the doctor on Thursday and he's on antibiotics, the doctor thinks he may have a sinus infection. He's reading in bed right now. I'm worried about him. He had episodes of having double vision yesterday. His doctor told him it may be related to his sinus issues and to call him if he has any more episodes. He hasn't had any episodes today but I'm keeping a close eye on him. M. has been coaching the school swim team and the big swim meet is tomorrow morning. We're supposed to be there for 7:30 a.m. so we will have to leave the house by 6:45 a.m. at the latest. I know M. wants to go and feels he has to go but it just worries me that he is doing too much and will make himself sicker, which will only add to the stress that I'm feeling because if all this sickness that's spreading through my family doesn't stop soon I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. Have I mentioned that I don't handle stress very well especially when it involves my children and husband being sick.

We're not quite sure what M. has, so that adds to the worry. BoyChild is feeling a little better this morning, he hasn't thrown up yet, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's okay for the rest of the day.

So we've asked M.'s parents to stay overnight tonight. They can stay home with BoyChild while we attend the swim meet. I did not want M. to be driving, especially until we are sure the double vision is gone.

To add to the stress we are supposed to attend a wedding in North Carolina next week. I'm not feeling too optimistic about it. If M. isn't feeling 100% I want to cancel the trip. But I know M. won't feel the same way. He will want to go, especially since we were the ones who are supposed to be driving down and taking his parents along with us, as they are also attending the wedding. But this will be a 14 hour road trip and with everyone's health being so unpredictable, GirlChild with her ongoing headaches, BoyChild with last night's episode of vomiting and M.'s pounding headaches, sore throat and possible recurring double vision, it just seems foolish to tempt fate.

I'm sorry because I know this post is sounding pretty whiny and "oh, woe is me", but I'm feeling pretty stressed and writing this down is actually helping a little. I know I have to just keep telling myself that everything is going to be all right, but when you're in the middle of it, I find it really hard to think positively. I just have to keep chanting to myself, "all will be good" over and over until I actually believe it.

Brown Eyed Girl

Thank you to everyone for their concern regarding GirlChild. We took her to the optometrist, she has almost perfect vision...considering both her Dad and I wear glasses, that was good news to hear. Her headaches are still here, she's had nonstop headaches for the past two weeks. They are not due to a sinus infection or allergies.

As I've told her many times, I would have the headaches for her in a heartbeat. I hate to see her in pain. She is such a strong and stoic child. She always has been. The type of child even when she was a baby or toddler if she fell, she would just pick herself up and just keep on playing. When she was a toddler she also had countless ear infections, however, she rarely complained about them, we would only know she had one when we would take her to the pediatrician with other symptoms like a fever or a sore throat. So whenever she does complain about having any aches or pains or feeling sick we always take her seriously.

We have asked for a CT Scan. As I mentioned before, my husband M suffers from daily headaches. His began when he was 23. They vary in intensity from day to day depending on changes in air pressure or sometimes he gets sinus infections. The thought that my little girl could have the same problem, daily headaches is just too awful to imagine. I know it's far better than having a more ominous or deadly reason for the headaches. But headaches every single day for the rest of her life....makes me want to weep.

She is such a sweet tempered child. This little girl of mine. She is so bright, funny, kind hearted, sweet, generous, stubborn, thoughtful and quirky. She still gives me big and warm hugs and kisses. We still cuddle at night and talk about our days. She loves to sew and wants to learn how to knit. Where did this come from, I can sew on a button but that's about it. GirlChild taught herself how to sew from a great how-to book, she has made aprons for both her grandmothers, pin cushions and pillows.

She loves to read and I love getting her books that I also enjoyed as a child. It was so wonderful to talk to her about the books she absolutely loved and get her perspective and thoughts about the plots and characters. She loved my old favourites: From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, Little Women, the Narnia series, A Wrinkle in Time and When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit. Right now she has a fascination with Greek myths and Roman history. She is reading a great Roman mystery series.

When I pick her up afterschool I want to cry when I see her tired and pale face. She is getting worn down. She says "Mommy it's not so bad right now, I try and ignore the pain, if it gets really bad I just put my head down on my desk" Her teacher suffers from migraines, so she is especially sympathetic and understanding to GirlChild.

My little girl whose beautiful brown eyes should be sparkling and dancing with mischief instead they are dark and quiet. When she was a baby M and I would hold her and sing to her Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl. She knows its the song we sang to her when she was a baby and she used to dance around singing it, I want that sparkle back in her eyes.

A sick house

GirlChild is still having headaches but they aren't as severe as they were a few days ago, Thank God! The doctor thinks she may have a sinus infection so she's started taking antibiotics, let's hope that is the problem and the headaches disappear. Fingers crossed.

BoyChild came down with a very bad cough last Friday, so he was home sick too. My usually bouncy, active and energetic little guy was very quiet and just lay in bed all day, poor little one.

So our weekend was very quiet and rather uneventful. I usually do not wish for bad weather but Saturday was rainy and cold and that was fine because if it had been a nice day the kids would have wanted to go outside and play, but they were definitely not well enough to do that.

Sunday was sunny and nice. By the afternoon, the kids were feeling stir crazy so we let them play outside for a little while. They played basketball and rode their bikes and BoyChild rollerbladed.

I'm really hoping BoyChild feels better soon. As he said "Mommy, it's no fun being sick" I'm just hoping that M. and I don't catch anything. But as we all know, mothers don't get sick, we just don't have the time for it. But just in case, I'm taking some extra Vitamin C tablets and keeping my fingers crossed.

Calgon, take me away!

I'm not endorsing Calgon, I just want to hold onto the image I have in my mind of the commercial that used to be on t.v. when I was a kid. A Mom who is obviously extremely stressed out and being harassed and mobbed by her own kids and husband, utters the magic words"Calgon, take me away" and she is magically whisked away into a luxurious and sensuous bubble bath and she has found her escape.

I want to say those words. But instead of a bath I think I need a full spa experience, preferably somewhere far, far away that has warm tropical breezes and fruity drinks brought to me by young men who look a lot like Clive Owen.

Work is crazy busy and a few of my co-workers are driving me insane with their quirks(one doesn't like to bathe very often and is very, very smelly, YUCK!) another one is truly incompetent and can barely use Excel or Word, Arghh! And did I mention that I have insane deadlines to meet and I can barely find time to pee at work, let alone drink my tea which usually ends up stone cold. But all of that is just trivial, just sucky stuff that I can deal with. But GirlChild isn't feeling well.

I got a call from her school yesterday morning, but it was over an hour before I could listen to the voicemail as I was in a meeting. My poor little girl had to sit and sit and sit and wait and wait in the office, but when I didn't call back immediately she had to return to her classroom still feeling pretty awful. Ahh...the guilt.

I raced to her school and picked her up. I almost cried when she said "I'm sorry you had to pick me up from school and miss work" I immediately gave her a big hug and told her that nothing was more important than her and work could wait and I apologized profusely that it took an hour and a half for me to come and get her. I almost never mention anything about work, I try really hard to keep work and home separate, but I guess she's been picking up on my stress, I felt so awful that she felt guilty for being sick.

She has been getting bad headaches lately. She had one last Thursday and M. had to pick her up from school early and she spent the day at home last Friday but by Saturday morning she felt fine. Now, she is having headaches again. So this morning M. took the day off and took her to her pediatrician. Have I told you how much I love our pediatrician. She is the mother of four children and she is one of the warmest and loveliest people you could ever want to meet. She has a lovely rapport with the children and always takes time with them, which is why I don't mind if I have to wait over an hour or sometimes 2 hours in the waiting room.

M. also has been having really bad headaches lately. He thinks they are due in large part to air pressure change. He has had chronic daily headaches for the past 15 years but some days are definitely worse than others. We are worried that GirlChild may have inherited not only his sinus problems but his headaches....oh no!

Just to rule out other problems, they took an x-ray of her head. She said the x-rays were "inconclusive" and she will be showing them to a radiologist and get their opinion. I hate waiting, I hate not knowing, the uncertainty is not nice, it really, really sucks!

All right, I really don't want to be whisked away to a tropical island but I do want to be able to stop feeling stressed out about work stuff. I wish I could just let go of things but when there are deadlines and you're the one who has to get things done, it's really tough to relax sometimes. I've also been having insomnia lately. Not every night but at least a few times a week. I usually try to get up and read a book for an hour and sometimes that works and I can fall back asleep, other times I just keep tossing and turning. So to top it off, I'm overtired and have I told you that I'm very, very cranky when I get overtired.

Tonight after the kids are in bed instead of cleaning the bathroom, I think I'll try and just read a trashy novel, eat some cookies and just zone out. I guess it's the next best thing to a tropical island getaway.....right?

Hoops

I am not a jock. Never have been, never will be. I was the kid who would be picked last for games in gym and recess. I can be rather clumsy and uncoordinated. Thankfully my children have not inherited my klutz gene. Though, today I redeemed myself. I actually sank a few baskets while playing basketball with GirlChild today.

Last summer one of our big projects was turning our sand pit/backyard into a place where we would want to spend some time. It was a really tough and long job, my husband M. is a star. With the help of his younger brother and his Dad our backyard was transformed. One of the things we had to put in(according to M) was a basketball hoop. Not any hoop mind you, one that would be permanent(cement) and had an adjustable height lever and of course had a cool backboard.

Today was the first time I actually used it. The last time I played basketball was over 30 years ago when I was in elementary school. Needless to say I was a little rusty. But I actually sank a few baskets and didn't make a complete fool out of myself in front of my daughter. Woohoo!

One of the big reasons we put in the hoop was that last year when GirlChild came home with her 2nd term report card, she had a "B" in gym class. Did I mention that M. comes from a family of jocks, his Dad was a high school football/track/wrestling/basketball coach as well as being a Science and Phys Ed teacher. M. and his two brothers grew up playing all sorts of sports from the time they could walk. M.'s earliest memories is of playing in the high school gym with the mats and balls.

So when GirlChild came home with a "B" in gym, M. casually asked what activities they had played during the past term. GirlChild mentioned that they mostly played basketball and since she had never really played before she wasn't as good as some of the other children. To say M. was devastated was to put it mildly. He truly felt like a failure. You may laugh, but he was really upset with himself. Don't get me wrong, M. spends a lot of time with the children playing sports, running around with them, throwing the football, baseball, biking, etc. but basketball hadn't been one of those sports. So one of the main reasons he worked so hard to build a deck, lay down new grass, put in a beautiful patio with interlocking brick was also so he could build a basketball hoop for his children. Now that the snow has finally melted, he and the kids have been outside shooting hoops whenever they can.

So I actually threw a basketball and no one got hurt. There was no pressure, just me and GirlChild throwing a ball around and it was a lot of fun. Maybe I'll become a jock after all, especially if I want to keep up with my children.

Something isn't right...

I was just on the computer reading some blogs and I heard a knock on the door.

Girl: (speaking very quickly) I'm just selling chocolates for kids who have disabilities, see this picture here, we're raising money to help them.
She's pointing to a blurry photo of children sitting around a table

I take it all in, the grimy and tattered photo of the children. The girl standing in front of me, (around 10 years old, the same age as GirlChild) I see another girl standing on the sidewalk and a woman standing off to the side.

Me: Do you have a charitable registration number?

Girl: uhhh, no.

Me: No, I'm sorry.

Woman: all right, let's go.

The Girl picks up her bag of chocolates and walks away.

If my husband had answered the door he would have paid the $5 for the chocolate. But I have a hard time supporting something when I know it's not legitimate. M's logic is that, yes, they are using these kids to raise money for nonexistent charities or really shady ones at best, but hopefully these kids are getting at least some of the money. They wouldn't be going door to door unless their familes really needed the money.

What would you do?